Skip to main content

Throw Back Thursday ~ Resurrection

For Throw Back Thursday, I have decided to resurrect this page...because good golly I have some things to purge from my head.

Life has been busy and from what I see, it has been since July 2012 I last used this vehicle of communication to release the monstrosity of emotions that constantly flow through me. The post in July was about dating and I have to laugh because not much has changed! Dating sucks! It takes time, energy and relentless efforts that have seemingly ended with little to no success.

What has happened since July 2012, you ask? The roller coaster still prevails and I am securely strapped in for the ride to continue into 2014! My time has been split between mommy duties (which I love and Tman is doing exceptionally well and growing up right before my eyes), a fulltime job, developing the nonprofit I created in 2012 (ReAwaken, Inc www.ReAwakenForWomen.Org). Needless to say, my time and energy for dating is next to nothing.

The biggest trial I have been facing lately is the fear of failure. With all the balls I have up in the air and the continued effort I offer constantly to keep them all up and none dropping, I have been exceedingly hard on myself for not doing this so elegantly. I have cried (ok, more like bawled my eyes out on many occasions) myself into hopelessness. My first panic attack came on tough this year and I was appreciative for the ability to distinguish that it was a panic attack but boy do they take the wind out of your sail. It was nearly as if I was down from a car accident and it took me almost two full weeks to get back to some sort of regularity.

This year, while understanding that I still face many wounding moments from my past, I am making the pledge to myself for more self-care. This year is going to be a personal journey of mental health for me! I'm excited for the evolution it will bring. 

Spending the holidays with my little guy has been extraordinarily cool this year and his enthusiasm, anticipation and understanding of the holidays have developed from years past. 

This is my #tbt but I look forward to sharing my journey (again) with anyone who wishes to follow. WARNING: you may need a seatbelt too as I have proved to have turbulence on several cases.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's Just Hair! Day 1

To kickoff the 30 Days and 30 New Ways , I decided to GO BIG or GO HOME! This challenge is designed to evoke inspiration and motivation. Try something new every chance you can. It can be as big as a new haircut or as small as changing up your coffee order. I am still hoarding ideas  and looking for any of you to join me on this journey. Remember, magic happens outside your comfort zone. Ok; enough waiting.  Courtney at Rolf's salon gave me this new do! Here are the inspiration photos that I showed to her and then I said, "go for it!" #30days30newways #ReAwaken
11 comments
Read more

Change is the Only Constant

Three years in the making and WOW, what a great success. ReAwaken has brought women together, helped women regain their confidence and self-esteem and provided women with valuable resources and knowledge nuggets on many helpful topics.  Since day one, we have always said that " we believe in abundance and frown on competition ." We have also said that professional, educated women are not underprivileged but under-served.   Today, we are excited to share with you the new phase of our business growth that will allow us to operate with the financial strength of an existing nonprofit while staying true to our mission.  Fresh Start Women's Foundation  has expressed great interest in our programming and ReAwaken's president and founder, Jarrett Ransom has accepted a Development Director position at Fresh Start. This is a new and exciting collaboration; Jarrett is still working on finalizing how this will all unfold exactly.  And you will be the first to k...
3 comments
Read more

Defeat. Weakness. Tears. Loneliness.

I struggle constantly with what to do about Tanner’s dad, Kirt. Every day I struggle because I do not currently know how to be without him. Deep down, I know he is not this mythical “ONE” that every one speaks of. Deep down I know that there is someone better out there for me. However, there are days (long days) when I question if the ONE exists for me. There is more to this struggle. There are patterns that need to be broken. Confidence needs to be found. Self-love needs to be unveiled. If any of you reading this has any suggestions, especially from first-hand experience, I would love to hear from you. *Regardless of Kirt's role in Tanner's life, I need to move beyond him and unmesh my emotions from his actions.
8 comments
Read more